2019 Schmooze event, social anxiety, and more!

My anxiety is on fire. I picked the wrong profession to get into. Everybody is a personality here and I feel like a nobody…”

That was the opening line to the journal entry I wrote while sitting at a table nursing an Old Fashioned. As I waited for the opening festivities for the “Cleveland Casting And Production: Schmooze” event last night I saw a lot of faces I was familiar with from Facebook and Instagram, two of which I actually talked to, and the rest, I just kinda made awkward eye contact with – I’m sure they weren’t disturbed at all.

I’ve never been socially anxious before except for the last few years. Somehow, somewhere, I developed this condition and I’ve been dealing with it ever since. My brain just races and tears itself into a thousand different directions that when I finally, through sheer force of will, allow my body to move and my mouth to engage in conversation, I fall over my words or completely mistake someone for another person (I apologize again Mr. Knight and Mr. Swirl), but they were good sports about it.

The main event featured trailers from upcoming projects local filmmakers were working on and I have to admit I was underwhelmed except for a few that I noted and made sure to at least introduce myself to the appropriate party, provided they were there (there was a trailer submitted that didn’t have anything to do with Ohio or the local film scene but…whatever, it looked good).

This was the first time I went out to meet other filmmakers, budding amateurs and long time professionals alike and I would grade myself D- for actual successful schmoozing and A+ in awkward loner behavior while getting actually drunk off of that single Old Fashioned since I also forgot to eat anything since lunch. Go me. I’m still happy I went and I intend to go to more of these and I also intend to have something to show for it next time.

It’s been two months since Burgers And my intent was to have another short “Current Events” released last month but I ended up not loving what I had so I had scrapped everything and tossed it on the back burner until this music video is finished. That said…I have lots of logging to do tonight since we wrapped last Saturday and I haven’t touched any of the footage since!

As always, if you wanna follow me on social media you can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and YouTube. Thanks!

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